


Midnight Memories

by Khylara



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: 9/11, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22964551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khylara/pseuds/Khylara
Summary: Mac remembers his wife at the 9/11 memorial.
Relationships: Danny Messer/Mac Taylor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Midnight Memories

Mac Taylor paused in front of the plaque that had his wife's name inscribed on it, tears rising to his eyes. _Seven years. Where did the time go?_ he brushed his fingers against the inscribed letters that spelled out the name of the woman he loved, remembering laughing eyes, a kind smile and a love he cherished in his heart every day. _Claire_... _I_ _still_ _miss_ _you_. _I_ hope _you're_ _at_ _peace_ _wherever_ _you_ _are._ He closed his eyes. _Please...please be at peace. I couldn't bear it if you weren't._

"I thought I'd find you here." Before he could turn around he felt a pair of arms slide around his waist. "Didn't you come down earlier?"

"I couldn't," Mac murmured, putting his hands over Danny's. "Too many memories still. And far too many reporters asking the same intrusive questions." He paused. "how did you know I'd be down here?"

"Stella." Danny replied, kissing his hair. "She says you come down here a lot at night."

"It's peaceful. And there's an eerie beauty to it all at night." Mac opened his eyes to look at the city lights reflecting off the water. "She would have liked it, I think."

"Tell me about her," Danny said quietly, holding his lover close. "You don't mention your life before. I mean, I didn't even know you were married when we first got together. Stella had to tell me." He tightened his hold on Mac as he kissed his ear. "Tell me about her."

Mac shook his head. "You don't want to hear about her."

"Yes, I do. You loved her. She was an important part of your life for a long time." Danny squeezed his fingers, his thumb brushing against Mac's wedding ring. "Tell me about her...anything you remember."

Mac sighed. "She was always laughing about something," he began. "It could be something she heard at work or a story she got from her father or a tidbit of gossip she overheard on the street...but she was always laughing." A wan smile crossed his face as he continued. "She loved chocolate chip ice cream. I swear she ate a pint a week and two during the summer, but only from this little hole in the wall ice cream place by our apartment. And she couldn't cook worth a damn. It was a good thing I knew how otherwise we would've starved our first year together."

Danny smiled. "She sounds like a pretty wonderful lady."

"She was," Mac agreed. "Oh, there were things she did that drove me up the wall. She never picked up her shoes; I was always tripping over them. Once I almost broke my nose falling over them in the living room after coming home from a case late one night. She also couldn't balance her checkbook. She was never off by much, but she always forgot to write something down. And she used to be allergic to roses, which I didn't find out until I gave her two dozen for our anniversary." He smiled at the memory of Claire sneezing every ten minutes until he had gotten rid of them. "And I'm sure she had an even longer list of the things I did that used to piss her off to no end. But no matter how much we fought, we always made up in the end." Mac turned to face Danny. "She would've liked you."

Danny's eyes lit up behind his glasses. "Really?"

Mac nodded. "Really," he confirmed. "She had an eye for handsome young men."

Danny blushed. "We would've had a lot in common, then.'

"I think so." Mac sighed as he leaned into Danny's embrace. "I still miss her."

"Of course you do, Mac. And a part of you always will," Danny said. "That's natural after loving her for so long." He paused. "I know I miss my brother every day."

Mac was silent for a moment. "I think...I think I'd be able to put her to rest if they had found her. Even a little piece of her." Mac closed his eyes again, his heart aching. "But no one ever did. Not in all the years of looking. They never found any trace.' he swallowed hard. "It still hurts...knowing I can't put her to rest."

"You might be able to someday," Danny said softly. "They're still searching and there are new forensic advances all the time. One of them might turn up something some day."

"Maybe." Mac sounded doubtful. "I just...it's hard to think of her some days. It's hard to remember the good times, how happy she was." he let out a heavy sigh. "Sometimes...sometimes all I can remember is the loss."

"I know." Danny kissed his hair again. When Mac looked up at him, a puzzled frown on his face, he explained. "You talk in your sleep sometimes. I've heard you mention her name more than once."

Mac winced. "I'm sorry, Danny."

"No reason fro you to be. Just because you still love Claire doesn't mean you love me any less. I know that, Danny reassured him. "It's okay. I know where your heart lies. And a part of it is always going to be with her."

"I love you, though." Mac put his head back on Danny's shoulder. "I wouldn't have gotten through all this without you."

"And I wouldn't have gotten through Louie's and Aiden's deaths without you. So we're even," Danny said, kissing him yet again. 

Mac was silent for another long moment. "I just wish I knew how to put her to rest, that's all," he murmured, sighing. "If I knew she was at peace...then maybe everything would be okay."

Just then a bright flash of orange caught the corner of his eye and Mac looked up. A gasp caught in his throat when he saw what it was. An orange monarch butterfly fluttered past him, landing briefly on top of Claire's name before it flew off. "Oh," he breathed as he watched it go.

Danny looked as well. "Pretty," he commented.

"Claire...she loved butterflies. We would go out to this place in Long Island and chase them every summer." A tear slowly slid down his cheek. "Do you think...maybe?'

"I think there's a really good chance," Danny said. He very gently kissed Mac's cheek. "Better?"

"Yeah...I think so," Mac said as he finally said a silent good-bye. He looked up, smiling. "Thank you. You've been pretty damn patient with me."

"You deserve a little patience after everything," Danny said, running a finger along mac's cheek. "And I'm glad to give it to you. Whatever you need."

Mac relaxed, knowing that he was finally safe and cared for and cherished after so long alone. "I think I'm ready to go home now." 

Danny began to slowly draw him away from the memorial. "Let's see how long it takes for us to find a cab." Keeping an arm around Mac, he began to head down the street. "I'll get you a cup of coffee on the way."


End file.
